Its finals week fall 2012, and I’m losing my mind. I’m not going to tell you how to use your time effectively or what foods to eat to maximize brain power. I’m not going to harp about the benefits of sleeping 7 hours a night or exercising to reduce stress. Instead, I’m going to show you what a typical night at the library looks like for me. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes.

9:03pm Walk into library. Make way to the living room area, stop and chat at a table of cute boys.

9:08 Continue walking to the back of the 1st floor, sit down at a table in the “quiet” section of the floor.

9:09 Pull out computer, open Facebook.

9:10 Update status to “Studying hard in the library! Come study with me!”

9:11 Open Twitter. Tweet “About to be so productive! #finals2012 #monroelibrary”

9:12 Still on Facebook.

9:20 Bathroom break! Stop at the table of cute boys again.

9:30 Open up a word document. Type my name, the class, professor’s name, and   date in the upper left hand corner.

9:32 Stare at blank word document.

9:33 Type title of essay in bold at the top of the page.

9:34 Check Facebook. No notifications.

9:45 Type introduction paragraph of essay due tomorrow morning at 9:30am.

10:01 Table is approached by friend that I haven’t seen since lunch. Catch up for a few minutes.

10:09 Back to essay! Second paragraph done.

10:18 Check Facebook. Still no notifications.

10:19 Take an artsy picture of my books and a highlighter and post it on Instagram.

10:20 Tweet “Rocking this essay. Let’s keep the party going! #clubmonroe”

10:21 Stare at essay. Pray for inspiration.

10:24 Look up essay instructions. Realize it needs to be 5 pages long. Have a mini panic attack.

10:32 Complain to friends about how much work I have to do.

10:34 Text mom to inform her that I’m dropping out of college.

10:35 Bathroom break. Walk all the way to the second floor bathrooms just for an “adventure.”

10:37 Mom texts back “haha u so fnny my dghtr! Stdy hrd!”

10:38 Walk back to my table and check my Facebook. No notifications.

10:40 Type a little more of my essay.

10:51 Go on pinterest, search for easy summer hairstyles.

10:55 Play a few rounds of “Scramble with Friends.” Win none of them.

11:03 Essay.

11:11 Make a wish that the essay will magically finish itself.

11:12 Write a witty Tweet about the essay magically finishing itself.

11:13 Instagram a picture of a single highlighted word on a piece of looseleaf. #artsy

11:15 Ask my friend to give me a back massage.

11:16 Friend tells me to do my essay.

11:17 Go on Facebook. Stalk my little sister’s best friend from kindergarten.

12:01 Look at the time. Realize I just spent 45 minutes on FB. Have second mini freak out of the night.


12:25 Bathroom break. Cute boys aren’t in the library anymore:(

12:28 Write some more of my essay! Silently congratulate myself on my productivity.

12:44 Zone out for a few minutes.

12:47 Facebook.

12:48 Twitter.

12:49 Instagram.

12:50 Essay.

12:51 Facebook.

12:52 Essay.

1:15 Facebook.

1:21 Check essay’s word count. Realize all I have left is the conclusion! Go on Facebook.

1:32 Try to formulate coherent sentences for conclusion. Struggling.

1:35 Ask friend to write my conclusion. Friend declines.

1:36 Text dad and inform him of my decision to drop out of school.

1:37 Realize that I just texted my dad at almost 2am, feel a slight sense of embarrassment.

1:38 Write a few more sloppy sentences for my essay.

1:40 Decide to call it a night and wake up early to finish essay tomorrow morning.

1:41 Check Facebook.

1:42 Send a goodnight tweet.

1:44 Pack up bags and head home.

While this is mostly intended as satire, I really do struggle to remove myself from social media and focus on the task at hand. How do you help yourself to stay focused?

PS- I did manage to finish my essay and get an A on it!

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